Reflective Essay

Over the past quarter, I have grown as a writer substantially. I wrote a very similar reflective essay last quarter and it was completely different than this. Last quarter I talked about how I was not a good writer and how I struggled through the class, not because I did not enjoy it but because I could not put all my thoughts together in a logical sense. But only about 10 weeks later, I am much more confident about my writing and I think that I am writing a lot better than I did before.

I developed a lot of strengths in both writing and researching. I never really knew how to write a full-blown research paper. I did not understand what needed to be done in a research paper or how to even start one. I chose my identity of upbringing because it is a topic in which you will never find two answers that are exactly the same. Everyone is different and therefore had different upbringings. My reasoning behind this choice was that it gave my paper a lot of flexibility on how I wanted to approach it.

I have to make improvements on the flow of my writing; I have gotten comments on my rough draft that say that at a point in my paper I talked about something that did not have any real significance. I need to read through my papers better to make sure that what I am writing makes sense with the flow of the paper and adds valid points to what I am talking about.

The best feedback I received over the quarter was from the peer review on our work. Whenever we had to post something that had to do with our final paper, the peer review responses always gave me the best idea of what I had to fix in my paper. These comments and my responding to other students really helped me learn how to revise my work. Even though when I was doing peer reviews I was not reading my own work, it did help me with the analysis process. I learned what to look for when reviewing and it helped me fix a lot of my own mistakes. One of the aspects that I would like to improve on is reading analysis. During the read and response each week I would have to go in and re-read the writing two or three times before I got what it was exactly about. This is a skill I would really like to improve on in the future, as it will help me be able to analyze pieces better.

Overall, I think this quarter really helped me improve on my writing skills. I have never really done any research for this sort of report and that is now a skill that I am happy to have because it will only benefit me for the rest of my time at Drexel. To put it plainly, I learned a lot of valuable things about writing over the quarter and they all helped me become a better writer.

Upbringings

I have been fortunate enough to grow up in the greatest state on God’s green Earth: New Jersey. Now many people would disagree with this statement but that is ok; you are allowed to have your own opinion even if said opinion is wrong. New Jersey has some of the best beaches, pizza, musicians, and bestows on its residents the gift of being a great driver by the time they are 18. Now I could sit here and talk about how New Jersey is great but that is not the actual point I am trying to make. Growing up in New Jersey gave me a unique upbringing that I could not have received if I had been born anywhere else. The experiences I had and the people I met could not be recreated anywhere else. I had a childhood specific to where I lived and who raised these things and me affected whom I grew up and ultimately how I am as a person today. Every person has specific experiences they had during the time they were growing up due to where they were living or how their family life was. The identity I have chosen is where I am from, specifically how that affected me as a young adult.

I would say I had a very normal upbringing. I come from a nuclear, middle class family. At first I lived in a city and then moved to a more suburban area along the shore in New Jersey. I saw how city life was like but I also saw how it was like to live in a more relaxed environment. Summers on the Jersey Shore are hell for locals; people from all over come and vacation and really have no respect for anything. There are countless times where I have gotten into verbal confrontation with these people whether while I was working or while just out doing whatever. I have gained an animosity towards these Bennys. I have been working since I turned 14 due to my parents not wanting to deal with me at home but this was beneficial to me. I learned responsibility in the workplace at a young age and I am now the supervisor at my job. I was also pressed by my parents to attain the rank of Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts. This on its own may be the largest impact on my life, I have learned leadership, responsibility, compassion, and many other traits that have been nothing but beneficial to me. If I did not live where I did or if my parents had not pushed me to get it, I would not have had this in my life. It would have drastically changed who I am as a person, which I would think would be more for the worst than the better.

No matter where you are from or where you grow up, barriers can be broken and friendships can be made. I can first hand attest to this. I met Mahmoud Hallak my first week here at Drexel. He was a small Syrian boy who would always smoke his e-cigarette and talk in fast, surprisingly good English. Six months later, he is one of my best friends here at Drexel. Mahmoud came to the US as a refugee in 2013 and recently received his asylum. He lived in Aleppo, one of the largest cities in Syria, with his mother, father, and older sister. He spent much of his childhood time as I did; whether it be playing outside with friends or spending time on school or homework. His family had family dinner almost every night just as I had with mine. He talked about how on weekends his extended family would always come over which is similar to what my large Italian family did. Mahmoud was heavily involved with the Syrian Revolution. His father was killed by the government solely for the reason that he was a doctor. He planned with other revolutionaries in secret on protest or raids against the government. Mahmoud had to leave for his own protection and now gives presentations about the revolution raising awareness about it. (Hallak) Even though we grew up on opposite sides of the globe and had totally different life experiences, Mahmoud and I are great friends. In some situations, an upbringing does not always affect whom you want to be friends with. Many people gravitate towards others who have a history similar to their own but I could not be happier that this was not the case.

Similar to my friendship with Mahmoud, I met Justin McCarthy the first week of school, as he lives on my floor. Justin has lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the past three years but before that he lived in Papua New Guinea for his whole life. Shortly after Justin was born, his parents, who are Christian missionaries, moved to Papua New Guinea. He lived there his whole life up to the age of fifteen. Justin lived in the city of New Ireland, which is its own island. It was a fairly large city but also had very dense jungle surrounding it. Justin recalls exploring these jungles and going to the local beaches as a kid with his four younger siblings. Again, I had found someone who lived halfway across the world in a completely different environment then I did but we ended up being great friends. One of the things that stuck out from Justin’s interview was his reaction to his parents being super religious. Justin said in his interview that “My parents are super religious because missionaries. Religion was a big part of my upbringing and they were very strict with me growing up. We always said grace and went to church a lot and did most of the normal religious stuff. It had a fairly negative effect on me later in life, it was not like bad but I am not religious anymore really. I have a big family too, 5 siblings including myself.” (McCarthy) A study done by Lauren Anne Van Schaick surveyed this exact situation, whether or not religion had a positive or negative affect of people as they were growing up. Van Schaick says, “There was no mediation between religiousness, resilience, and well-being.” (Van Schaick) in a statement about her findings, which ultimately disproves that there is a correlation. This is not always the case though as seen in Justin’s life. Justin does not let this bother him all that much; he has grown up with his own set of beliefs and ideas and although they are different from his parents, they do respect his decisions. There have been stories of religion having both positive and negative affects on individuals. Religion is sometimes a limiting factor in some lives, holding people back from doing what they want to do because of the negativity they would receive from the community.

Location is not the only thing that can affect your upbringing; pop-culture and family and friends can also play a huge role. Pop-culture including music, television, and celebrities largely effect how kids act. Music taste can be directly associated with the location to which you grew up. In a study done by John Ginocchio, it was found that “Preference for dance music, pop rock, and country music was significantly affected by subjects’ environment of upbringing.”(Ginocchio). Many people who live in more rural areas are into country music while people who live in cities listen to newer alternative or rap music. This is apparent to since coming to college. Everyone has his or her own different taste in music. These differences can bring people together or bring them apart. I have showed Mahmoud a lot of different types of music that he did not have in Syria.

Jason Deroche wrote about an idea that Aristotle had which was that if you had a good upbringing; you grew up to like more refined things. He writes “I assert a good upbringing yields good emotional responses by training a youth’s ability to perceive situations accurately.” (Deroche) I believe that this is true because if you have a good upbringing, it is normal for that person to be able to see and assess situations better then those who did not. I think that no matter how or where you grow up, every situation is different and will give you a different out look on life.

Works Cited

1. Van Schaick, Laura Anne. "Predicting Resilience and Psychological Well-being in Early Adulthood: The Role of Religion in Childhood and Adolescence." Order No. 3415678 St. John's University (New York), 2010. Ann Arbor: ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

2. Ginocchio, John. "Music Style Preference: A Ranking of Musical Styles and Comparison by Age; Gender; Ethnicity; Music Training; and Rural, Suburban, Or Urban Upbringing." Order No. 3209429 Ball State University, 2006. Ann Arbor:ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

3. DeRoche, Jason. "Shaping the Youth: Aristotle on the Education of Desire and Emotion." Order No. MR83164 Carleton University (Canada), 2011. Ann Arbor: ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

4. Interview with Justin McCarthy conducted on May 28^th, 2015

5. Interview with Mahmoud Hallak conducted on May 2^nd, 2015

Responses to Peers

Week 1:

To Eric:

I think instead of trying to focus on two separate identities and trying to chose to only expand on one of them, just combine the two together and have your identity be family. I can see how your older siblings effected your decision to come to Drexel. My younger sister is a junior in high school and although she wants nothing to do with Drexel, I am trying to steer her in the right direction of good colleges. You might want to come in more depth on not only the co-op system but how your siblings may have personally effected your decision to come to Drexel. I like the aspect of being an employee to your dad. I did not work with my dad officially but whenever I did help out, I always felt that I needed to get everything done as soon as possible. Another way you can combine the two is talk more about how your siblings also worked for your dad and see what they think of the experience and if they share similar view with you. I think that you know what you are talking about and I really liked both identities and there is totally a way to put them together and make it one.

To Madison:

I think that choosing your identity as being a twin was an interesting choice; being a twin is a somewhat uncommon thing and this lets you have a very unique identity. I have always wondered how the relationship with a twin went. I have either met twins that are very close with each other or twins that want nothing to do with each other. I think its kind of weird that people ask you a ton of questions but I see where they are coming from. I really like how you describe being a twin not as just sharing the womb with someone and it is like more of a bond between you and your sibling. I think you should expand on what exactly that bond is especially because you said you have other siblings so it would be interesting to see the difference in the relationships. I really like where you are going with your identity and I see why you chose it.

Week 2:

To Nicolas:

I understand exactly where you are coming from. The description is great and I feel like I was at that party by just reading the description. I have had my fair share of being at weird parties that your friends drag you to and you sit there and try to have a good time but you really can't get into it. This can be a normal occurrence in people but you presented it in more detail and just better than others. I brought this up in my prompt and it is trash compared to the amount of details and time you put into yours. I really relate to your point about not wanting to go out to random parties and I completely agree with you. I would take a night in just hanging out and drinking with my friends then going to some hot sweaty party and get kicked out at 11pm. Overall, I really liked how it was written with the details and use of metaphors and everything and it really caught my attention when I was looking through prompts and made me want to keep reading it.

To Andrew:

This was a really interesting prompt to read because it showed how different two sections of the same group could be. Everyone who was doing cross fit did not normally see someone like you coming in and doing the sort of exercises that you were doing. It does make you wonder about how other people can overall affect a person's performance. The lifting seems extremely hard just on its own but I see why it got harder for you because of everyone judging you to an extent just because you wanted to be around other people when you were lifting. You did go against the normal of what was going on in the gym, which since it is all a gym, had a very odd outcome. Everyone one who goes is there to better themselves physically so it should not matter what specific exercise or lift you are doing, everyone should be supportive. I liked how descriptive everything was, I understand exactly what you were feeling while you were there.

Week 3:

To Brianna:

I really like that you interviewed two different people instead of just one. This can broaden the answers you can get since both people come from different lives and have different reasons behind their answers. I love your topic; I really think that people judge other people who have body modifications for no apparent reason. I also like that you did not use the same set questions for each person but I would have also liked to see how two different people reply to the same question. Since each person you interviewed were differently aged their responses could have been different and that could have helped you compile a better answer. Overall I really like your topic and cannot wait to read the finished product.

To Nicolas:

I really like the way this interview was conducted and the choices of questions were great. You did not focus on one point of the person's introversion (not sure if that’s a word) but throughout their entire life and how it affected them. The follow up questions helped explain the initial questions in more detail. The person's life has been ultimately covered because of the detail in each of your questions. I like that you recorded it and then wrote everything down afterwards, it feels like you did not leave anything out. As Megan said, my only complaint is that I would like to see how other people answer the same questions but that wasn't asked for this interview. Maybe for your final paper you could interview two people who are introverted and see how their answers differ from one another.

Week 4:

To Brianna:

For starters, you wrote a great annotated bibliography; it looks like you basically already have your paper done with all the info that you have collected. It is a great start to the paper and it seems that you have taken it really seriously. I like that you have backgrounds on all of the authors of your sources. I could not find much on any of the authors nor do I really see a purpose to writing about them but I like the detail that you gave it. I like that you added quotes that might be of use to you later, it is better to take the time now while reading the sources and writing them done then having to go back and search through the paper later. It is also clear to see what exactly your paper is about just from reading the sources, which is a good sign.

To Eric:

It is really easy to see what your paper is going to be about just from reading the article that you are using as research. I like that you were very specific in describing what the articles were about and they are all a pretty good length. Adding quotes was a really good idea because if you are going through a source first read it is good to pick out the quotes that jump out to you. Your annotations are a good length and it would be easy to go back and see where exact a quote or an idea was by just reading through them. I also did not look up any information on the authors of my sources because I could not find anything about them. Another little detail is that you put all of your sources in alphabetical order, which a lot of people forgot to do.

Midterm:

To Nick

Your paper is gives great details on the daily life and how introversion affects an individual as they grow up. The way you described your childhood does help explain how and why you became more introverted then extroverted. I would like to see how your introversion affects your daily life. Do you stray away from daily things that include other people like eating in the dining hall or going to the gym just because there are other people there? It would be interesting to see. I do have a complaint on how your paper just seemed to end. I am assuming you will add to it because it is only the rough draft but you just took a short paragraph that included a brand new source and just rolled with it. A short conclusion to wrap things up would be nice. Other then that the paper was good aside from one or two comma and grammatical errors here or there. It is a really interesting topic to read about and I enjoyed reading it and can not wait to see what you do with it for the final.

To Matthew

Firstly I would like to say how interesting it was to read your first draft, as Roswitha said it is very informative to learn about being a veteran from personal experiences. I cannot begin to imagine anything about war. I would have liked to see some background on some of the places that you toured, it is not really a required detail to have but it does help with the clarity of the paper. Also if you have done anything else with other veterans through different organizations outside of Drexel, I would have liked to read about those if there are any. Or maybe why you wanted to join the armed forces initially. Was it your own decision? And how did family and friends react to it. One other minor thing was maybe splitting your first paragraph in half when you begin to talk about the veteran rehab with the horses; it is a paragraph that can stand on its own but again just a minor detail. Overall I thought it was a great paper and I loved reading it. It was informative and you explained your identity well.

To Brianna

I really love what you have written so far; not only does it talk about how body modification is perceived in modern times but also the full history of it. I was interesting to read about the origins of tattoos. I am in fully support of any sort of tattoos or piercings or anything like that. It is your body you should be able to do what you want with it without getting judged by the general public. I also like how you went through different people and how having body modifications effect their lives. It was a really good way to implement your interviews into the paper. The only complaints that I have about the paper are that the first few paragraphs could be put together and condensed a bit. Not really a complaint really, just a personal comment, I do not think that anything is wrong with the writing. The second is that you just ended it like that, total cliffhanger! But in all, it is a really well written paper and I cannot wait to read the rest of it.

To Eric                                                                                                                                                First off I like how well written and detailed your paper is, I can tell that you put a lot of time into it from only reading it once over. It is a really interesting topic that I do not think many people experience in their lives. It is one thing to maybe work with a close friend but it is a completely different animal working with your own direct family. The only complaint I really have is that I would have liked to see maybe some specific event that times were really good or really bad due to how the store was going. You mention that sometimes if things were not going well in the store, your dad or other family members would be upset in the home life. Besides that I really liked how informative everything was and how interestingly written it is.

Week 7:

To Eric

First off your rough draft was great! I really liked reading about how being in a family business can affect home life and personal relationships. As you said in your paragraph above, I think adding a bit more detail to your experiences would be beneficial. I really do think that you took everyone's comments and suggestions into account when writing this. I think that you have really good ideas on what to write the new paragraphs about. I think the only problem you might have is structuring the paper so it flows and makes sense. But after reading it once or twice, I think you are going to be able to see how everything works together.

To Megan

Top of Form

I think that you have a really good outline to your paper; the rough draft you wrote was very informative and it showed a lot of insight into the lives of someone who lives with anxiety. In my opinion, I think it would be a good idea to go into the science behind anxiety. Maybe like explain the physiological aspect of anxiety or if there is anything that will specifically cause it. Overall I thought your essay was really good. Like you mentioned, there were some transitions that were awkward. A closing paragraph would be a good idea to wrap everything up and bring it all together.

Week 9:                                                                                                                                                   To Nick                                                                                                                                               First off these paragraphs were extremely well written and has a lot of detail in them that help paint a picture of the scene. It was a good personal story that would make a good addition to your essay. I am somewhat confused to where this will be placed into your essay since the topic is on introversion. If you want to get in depth on personal experiences, you should also go into a possible bad day of introversion where you would not have invited your friend to lunch and talk about the reasoning behind that decision. That is just an idea though and I believe someone else in the comments mentioned it too. Besides that I really do not have any complaints about this piece; it is well written and descriptive and tells a great story.

To Eric                                                                                                                                                      I like the changes you made to this paragraph; it does really add a more personal side to the paper. It gives a good representation on how the life within the store affected your home life outside of it. I think that adding the story about the employee who was stealing the drugs was a really good idea because it turned a very general thing into a personal story all your own. The only complaint I have is about the somewhat random quote from your brother in the middle. I know you said that there was a possibility of you splitting this into two paragraphs, which I do not think is a good idea. If you maybe expand more onto what your brother said instead of just the one quote, it could help maybe describe the point better. You could also get a quote from your brother on the topic of the guy stealing the drugs. These are just ideas though; I really think that this was a strong addition to your paper.