Upbringings

I have been fortunate enough to grow up in the greatest state on God’s green Earth: New Jersey. Now many people would disagree with this statement but that is ok; you are allowed to have your own opinion even if said opinion is wrong. New Jersey has some of the best beaches, pizza, musicians, and bestows on its residents the gift of being a great driver by the time they are 18. Now I could sit here and talk about how New Jersey is great but that is not the actual point I am trying to make. Growing up in New Jersey gave me a unique upbringing that I could not have received if I had been born anywhere else. The experiences I had and the people I met could not be recreated anywhere else. I had a childhood specific to where I lived and who raised these things and me affected whom I grew up and ultimately how I am as a person today. Every person has specific experiences they had during the time they were growing up due to where they were living or how their family life was. The identity I have chosen is where I am from, specifically how that affected me as a young adult.

I would say I had a very normal upbringing. I come from a nuclear, middle class family. At first I lived in a city and then moved to a more suburban area along the shore in New Jersey. I saw how city life was like but I also saw how it was like to live in a more relaxed environment. Summers on the Jersey Shore are hell for locals; people from all over come and vacation and really have no respect for anything. There are countless times where I have gotten into verbal confrontation with these people whether while I was working or while just out doing whatever. I have gained an animosity towards these Bennys. I have been working since I turned 14 due to my parents not wanting to deal with me at home but this was beneficial to me. I learned responsibility in the workplace at a young age and I am now the supervisor at my job. I was also pressed by my parents to attain the rank of Eagle Scout in Boy Scouts. This on its own may be the largest impact on my life, I have learned leadership, responsibility, compassion, and many other traits that have been nothing but beneficial to me. If I did not live where I did or if my parents had not pushed me to get it, I would not have had this in my life. It would have drastically changed who I am as a person, which I would think would be more for the worst than the better.

No matter where you are from or where you grow up, barriers can be broken and friendships can be made. I can first hand attest to this. I met Mahmoud Hallak my first week here at Drexel. He was a small Syrian boy who would always smoke his e-cigarette and talk in fast, surprisingly good English. Six months later, he is one of my best friends here at Drexel. Mahmoud came to the US as a refugee in 2013 and recently received his asylum. He lived in Aleppo, one of the largest cities in Syria, with his mother, father, and older sister. He spent much of his childhood time as I did; whether it be playing outside with friends or spending time on school or homework. His family had family dinner almost every night just as I had with mine. He talked about how on weekends his extended family would always come over which is similar to what my large Italian family did. Mahmoud was heavily involved with the Syrian Revolution. His father was killed by the government solely for the reason that he was a doctor. He planned with other revolutionaries in secret on protest or raids against the government. Mahmoud had to leave for his own protection and now gives presentations about the revolution raising awareness about it. (Hallak) Even though we grew up on opposite sides of the globe and had totally different life experiences, Mahmoud and I are great friends. In some situations, an upbringing does not always affect whom you want to be friends with. Many people gravitate towards others who have a history similar to their own but I could not be happier that this was not the case.

Similar to my friendship with Mahmoud, I met Justin McCarthy the first week of school, as he lives on my floor. Justin has lived in Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the past three years but before that he lived in Papua New Guinea for his whole life. Shortly after Justin was born, his parents, who are Christian missionaries, moved to Papua New Guinea. He lived there his whole life up to the age of fifteen. Justin lived in the city of New Ireland, which is its own island. It was a fairly large city but also had very dense jungle surrounding it. Justin recalls exploring these jungles and going to the local beaches as a kid with his four younger siblings. Again, I had found someone who lived halfway across the world in a completely different environment then I did but we ended up being great friends. One of the things that stuck out from Justin’s interview was his reaction to his parents being super religious. Justin said in his interview that “My parents are super religious because missionaries. Religion was a big part of my upbringing and they were very strict with me growing up. We always said grace and went to church a lot and did most of the normal religious stuff. It had a fairly negative effect on me later in life, it was not like bad but I am not religious anymore really. I have a big family too, 5 siblings including myself.” (McCarthy) A study done by Lauren Anne Van Schaick surveyed this exact situation, whether or not religion had a positive or negative affect of people as they were growing up. Van Schaick says, “There was no mediation between religiousness, resilience, and well-being.” (Van Schaick) in a statement about her findings, which ultimately disproves that there is a correlation. This is not always the case though as seen in Justin’s life. Justin does not let this bother him all that much; he has grown up with his own set of beliefs and ideas and although they are different from his parents, they do respect his decisions. There have been stories of religion having both positive and negative affects on individuals. Religion is sometimes a limiting factor in some lives, holding people back from doing what they want to do because of the negativity they would receive from the community.

Location is not the only thing that can affect your upbringing; pop-culture and family and friends can also play a huge role. Pop-culture including music, television, and celebrities largely effect how kids act. Music taste can be directly associated with the location to which you grew up. In a study done by John Ginocchio, it was found that “Preference for dance music, pop rock, and country music was significantly affected by subjects’ environment of upbringing.”(Ginocchio). Many people who live in more rural areas are into country music while people who live in cities listen to newer alternative or rap music. This is apparent to since coming to college. Everyone has his or her own different taste in music. These differences can bring people together or bring them apart. I have showed Mahmoud a lot of different types of music that he did not have in Syria.

Jason Deroche wrote about an idea that Aristotle had which was that if you had a good upbringing; you grew up to like more refined things. He writes “I assert a good upbringing yields good emotional responses by training a youth’s ability to perceive situations accurately.” (Deroche) I believe that this is true because if you have a good upbringing, it is normal for that person to be able to see and assess situations better then those who did not. I think that no matter how or where you grow up, every situation is different and will give you a different out look on life.

Works Cited

1. Van Schaick, Laura Anne. "Predicting Resilience and Psychological Well-being in Early Adulthood: The Role of Religion in Childhood and Adolescence." Order No. 3415678 St. John's University (New York), 2010. Ann Arbor: ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

2. Ginocchio, John. "Music Style Preference: A Ranking of Musical Styles and Comparison by Age; Gender; Ethnicity; Music Training; and Rural, Suburban, Or Urban Upbringing." Order No. 3209429 Ball State University, 2006. Ann Arbor:ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

3. DeRoche, Jason. "Shaping the Youth: Aristotle on the Education of Desire and Emotion." Order No. MR83164 Carleton University (Canada), 2011. Ann Arbor: ProQuest. Web. 23 Apr. 2015.

4. Interview with Justin McCarthy conducted on May 28^th, 2015

5. Interview with Mahmoud Hallak conducted on May 2^nd, 2015